Day 2381 - A dark world aches for a splash of the sun...
I am continuing to search through my drawers looking for an old MorrisseysWorld blog article that references the band wearing turquoise outfits; as mentioned by Morrissey pessoa, 'Jon the Con' on Sunday. I haven't yet been able to locate the said article, but I am certainly having some fun re-reading some of the old MW classics, and have also stumbled across a few FTM entries that were never published. One such FTM entry is Day 1098 from September 17th 2014, which it would seem I didn't publish at the time, because I was disillusioned at the lack of interest or interaction with both Morrissey and FTM. I have now published Day 1098, along with a few others.
And as it is a dull, rainy day, here is one of those old MW classics to warm your cockles. It is from late August 2011. Enjoy:
Mozzer's Perspective: A Dark World Aches For a Splash of the Sun, Def Leppard grease balls and other topics
Dumb ass teens with fixed grins fall out of buses and fast food death shops clutching their energy drinks; armies of cloned skinny boys in rakish-cut jeans, with Bieber-mops and imitation 70s satchels over a pointy shoulder laze here and there with The Strokes on their iPods; and then there's the sorry pale wretch with long fuzzy hair, a leather jacket and personal hygiene so poor Bob Geldof is Liberace by comparison, skulking around some street corner, wishing he was somebody else entirely - no, not Russell Brand, silly - a Def Leppard fan, friendless and pathetic; this, my friends, is modern Britain. And where does Old Mozzer fit into this crass multi-cultural meat parade? Oh, nowhere - nowhere at all.
Welcome to the world's least successful celebrity blog. Cowering politely under the shield of quasi-anonymity, holding for grim life on to the sword of irony that has served me so well these years, Old Mozzer has fashioned himself a small voice in the pixelated wilderness of what George W. Bush once referred to as 'the internets.' In a world where the planet's least articulate man is charged with arguing the case for perpetual war, talent contest winners publish their memoirs before embarking on life, Sir Elton John is considered a recording artist, and people - in their utter desperation - turn to a mystical 230lb benefit-scrounging slob called Buddha for lifestyle advice, failure is the ultimate vindication of one's talent.
And so, as if to confirm the mind-warping madness of this world we quietly or not-so-quietly inhabit, our gaze turns inexorably towards Peter Mardles' excruciatingly bland review of Young The Giant's debut album. Beginning with the de rigeur dig at Old Mozzer's post-2004 output, before moaning his way through the aforementioned masterpiece with all the flair and deftness of touch of a hod carrier down the local building site, and finishing arguably the dullest review I've ever read with a back-handed compliment to the singer - how Mardles actually finds work is the biggest mystery of all.
Mardles can't even impress the English teacher when he returns to the old school to bore the boys with anecdotes from his life among letters, leaving - as he does - his comma dangling outside of his inverted commas. Oh dear, what is journalism coming to? They can't even manage basics these days, it seems. My, how standards at the broadsheets have fallen. But then this is the Guardian/Observer we're talking about, home of Petriditis and Empire. C'est la vie. Glancing back over Mardles' previous reviews, one finds the same snotty I-wish-I-had-been-a-proper-writer angst permeates all of his 'contributions,' the same studied pretension of disinterested good taste, the same nauseatingly middle class pseudo-humility, and the odd grammatical howler. What? His name is Paul? Well, Peter/Paul - it matters little. If he's lucky his family will remember him when he's gone. Regards art critics as useless and dangerous, said Filippo Tomaso Marinetti; had he lived to witness the living car crash that is Mardles' journalistic career he may well have added the word 'irritating' to that list. What is truly extraordinary is that we allow such talentless, uncreative souls to stand in judgement of anybody at all. Why must mediocrity constantly seek to undermine genius? Jesus, Galileo, Oscar Wilde, Anne Frank, Neil Hamilton, Morrissey and now Young The Giant... will the persecution never end?
Speaking of the talentless, following on from my entirely reasonable critiques of Dep Leppard's singing moron and one-armed wife beater of a drummer (it's always the drummer...), according to the site stats, we have been flooded by angry, long-haired Def Leppard fans from board.defleppardnow.com, and facially tattooed maniacs more generally from forums.metalsludge.tv. Most of the criticism seems to relate to my comments about the supreme cowardice of a one-armer taking out his bitterness at having only one upper limb by using said arm to give his wife a good slap around the face. Quite honestly, I don't understand the anger. Whatever next? One-legged man on mobility scooter takes time out during trip to the library to stamp on unsuspecting homeless person sleeping in the gutter? Man with only two fingers tries to strangle his life partner to death while he sleeps? Elton John attempts to say something witty/insightful? Come now. We all have our limitations. Learn to live with them, and don't take it out on everyone else.
As for the dreary dullards writing libel about Old Mozzer in the metal sludge forums, I strongly suggest you CEASE AND DESIST immediately. If those comments continue, I shall contact my lawyers and sue you, using legal coercion to have you named and shamed, regardless of your delusions of anonymity. You have been warned. I strongly suggest that if you value the roof over your head, you rein in your fingertips. And do please stop bringing over to my ironic homepage the stench of body odour and self-pity. The whole pity-me attitude of those heavy metal ponces makes me sick, quite frankly. You've got your health, you're not Elton John. What is there to whinge about really? Over here in Morrissey's World our focus is global: the cancellation of third world debt; tackling the blight of starvation in Africa; and strategies for preventing Elton John ever having a number one record again...
Incidentally, don't think for a moment that the band pictured above would fear bumping into those hard rock gurly boys Def Leppard at the Grammy's, or indeed elsewhere. Morrissey's band is the hardest band around - there's Boz with his steel toe caps, Jesse with his street connections, and the Walkers, of course, who must be the hardest married couple in pop now that Sonny and Cher are no more. Def Leppard certainly wouldn't want to bump into us down a dark alley. I beg your pardon?.. Now that's just rude.
I'm pleased at the generally positive response to my recently announced US/Mexican tour. To those feeling dejected at my avoidance of almost all of the United Staes, fear not: the odd date is likely to be added in the not-too-distant future, TV schedule permitting. You will also see me appear with either a white rose or a red rose before Christmas, and at some point a manufactured act will adorn my breast. Another pledge. One can only hope it's not the face of Robert Smith - surely a bridge too far?
To those who noted the 'All Ages!' reference in the Santa Fe poster, and who correctly surmised the reason for the exclamation mark was the recent Aunty Mozzer's advice column - age restrictions at Mozzer's live strip shows - well done. I'm thrilled any of you still bother to scour my symbolism for hidden meaning, particularly after I forced you all to endure 'OK By Myself' on my 2009 tour: a song without any primary meaning, let alone secondary.. I shouldn't have played it. Some things are just wrong. Never again - possibly!
The joys of speaking freely to the intelligentsia are matchless. Thank you for listening.
Morrissey
Last night I went to see Shed Seven at the O2 Academy in Boscombe, Bournemouth. The venue was originally called The Boscombe Grand, and is a very intimate venue that both Bowie and Bolan have played. I must confess, that until last night, I had never heard of the place. I would LOVE to see Morrissey play here. I put the idea to Morfessa on Twitter earlier today, and got the humorous reply, "This would of course depend on their cancellation policy..."....at least, I think it was a humorous reply, it could quite possibly be very serious!
SHED SEVEN AT THE BOSCOMBE GRAND
And finally, on Monday I reported that Morrissey had issued a statement regarding his recent interview with Der Speigel. In the statement Morrissey wrote that he would:
1. Never Kill Donald Trump
2. Never Support Kevin Spacey's private proclivities
3. Never Support abuse of children
4. Never Never support sexual harassment
5. Never support rape
Morrissey also added that Der Speigel didn't convey his views fairly, and that he would never speak to the print media again. He signed off by reporting that he had requested an unchopped, un-fiddled with audio of the interview, which had been refused.
Yesterday, in response to Morrissey's statement, the interviewer, Juliane Liebert released the audio. I haven't personally bothered to listen to it, but funnily enough, it has been confirmed that ALL FIVE of the above points are correct. Yes Morrissey gave a view on each of the five subjects, but he DIDN'T give support; just as he DIDN'T give support with his statement about the UKIP leadership election. Der Speigel could have used a whole number of positive headlines for the interview, but they went with:
""The person who is called a victim is only disappointed""
and then added a sub-heading of:
"Morrissey praises the Brexit referendum, defends Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein and calls Berlin a "rape capital" - because of the open borders. Seriously?"
Der Speigel purposely looked to sensationalise Morrissey's views, in the quest for worldwide publicity.... and it worked, with the mainstream UK and USA media picking-up on the interview, and making sensational headlines of their own. As the headlines got more and more ridiculous, Juliane Liebert took to Twitter - as reported on Day 2368 of FTM - to state that Morrissey HADN'T supported the killing of Trump, and HADN'T supported abuse of children, but her original headlines had already caused the damage. Oh, Juliane!
There really is nothing left to say about the Der Speigel interview. Those Morrissey fans who have decided to believe the sensational headlines, and who now spend all day every day chastising him, should just move away from The Mozziah, and get on with their lives without Morrissey. They will probably feel like it is a bereavement, but they have brought it upon themselves. If only they had opened their eyes. Those of us who can see through the bullshit media, will continue to enjoy listening to Morrissey's music, will enjoy attending his concerts, and will enjoy reading his views on various subjects. The world is FULL of crashing bores.
And now to far more important matters, looking for that 'turquoise' reference, and watching the remainder of The Promise.
*Goes off singing* Oh, he said he'd cure your ills, but he didn't and he never will....and I'm not happy, and I'm not sad.
And as it is a dull, rainy day, here is one of those old MW classics to warm your cockles. It is from late August 2011. Enjoy:
Mozzer's Perspective: A Dark World Aches For a Splash of the Sun, Def Leppard grease balls and other topics
Dumb ass teens with fixed grins fall out of buses and fast food death shops clutching their energy drinks; armies of cloned skinny boys in rakish-cut jeans, with Bieber-mops and imitation 70s satchels over a pointy shoulder laze here and there with The Strokes on their iPods; and then there's the sorry pale wretch with long fuzzy hair, a leather jacket and personal hygiene so poor Bob Geldof is Liberace by comparison, skulking around some street corner, wishing he was somebody else entirely - no, not Russell Brand, silly - a Def Leppard fan, friendless and pathetic; this, my friends, is modern Britain. And where does Old Mozzer fit into this crass multi-cultural meat parade? Oh, nowhere - nowhere at all.
Welcome to the world's least successful celebrity blog. Cowering politely under the shield of quasi-anonymity, holding for grim life on to the sword of irony that has served me so well these years, Old Mozzer has fashioned himself a small voice in the pixelated wilderness of what George W. Bush once referred to as 'the internets.' In a world where the planet's least articulate man is charged with arguing the case for perpetual war, talent contest winners publish their memoirs before embarking on life, Sir Elton John is considered a recording artist, and people - in their utter desperation - turn to a mystical 230lb benefit-scrounging slob called Buddha for lifestyle advice, failure is the ultimate vindication of one's talent.
And so, as if to confirm the mind-warping madness of this world we quietly or not-so-quietly inhabit, our gaze turns inexorably towards Peter Mardles' excruciatingly bland review of Young The Giant's debut album. Beginning with the de rigeur dig at Old Mozzer's post-2004 output, before moaning his way through the aforementioned masterpiece with all the flair and deftness of touch of a hod carrier down the local building site, and finishing arguably the dullest review I've ever read with a back-handed compliment to the singer - how Mardles actually finds work is the biggest mystery of all.
Mardles can't even impress the English teacher when he returns to the old school to bore the boys with anecdotes from his life among letters, leaving - as he does - his comma dangling outside of his inverted commas. Oh dear, what is journalism coming to? They can't even manage basics these days, it seems. My, how standards at the broadsheets have fallen. But then this is the Guardian/Observer we're talking about, home of Petriditis and Empire. C'est la vie. Glancing back over Mardles' previous reviews, one finds the same snotty I-wish-I-had-been-a-proper-writer angst permeates all of his 'contributions,' the same studied pretension of disinterested good taste, the same nauseatingly middle class pseudo-humility, and the odd grammatical howler. What? His name is Paul? Well, Peter/Paul - it matters little. If he's lucky his family will remember him when he's gone. Regards art critics as useless and dangerous, said Filippo Tomaso Marinetti; had he lived to witness the living car crash that is Mardles' journalistic career he may well have added the word 'irritating' to that list. What is truly extraordinary is that we allow such talentless, uncreative souls to stand in judgement of anybody at all. Why must mediocrity constantly seek to undermine genius? Jesus, Galileo, Oscar Wilde, Anne Frank, Neil Hamilton, Morrissey and now Young The Giant... will the persecution never end?
Speaking of the talentless, following on from my entirely reasonable critiques of Dep Leppard's singing moron and one-armed wife beater of a drummer (it's always the drummer...), according to the site stats, we have been flooded by angry, long-haired Def Leppard fans from board.defleppardnow.com, and facially tattooed maniacs more generally from forums.metalsludge.tv. Most of the criticism seems to relate to my comments about the supreme cowardice of a one-armer taking out his bitterness at having only one upper limb by using said arm to give his wife a good slap around the face. Quite honestly, I don't understand the anger. Whatever next? One-legged man on mobility scooter takes time out during trip to the library to stamp on unsuspecting homeless person sleeping in the gutter? Man with only two fingers tries to strangle his life partner to death while he sleeps? Elton John attempts to say something witty/insightful? Come now. We all have our limitations. Learn to live with them, and don't take it out on everyone else.
As for the dreary dullards writing libel about Old Mozzer in the metal sludge forums, I strongly suggest you CEASE AND DESIST immediately. If those comments continue, I shall contact my lawyers and sue you, using legal coercion to have you named and shamed, regardless of your delusions of anonymity. You have been warned. I strongly suggest that if you value the roof over your head, you rein in your fingertips. And do please stop bringing over to my ironic homepage the stench of body odour and self-pity. The whole pity-me attitude of those heavy metal ponces makes me sick, quite frankly. You've got your health, you're not Elton John. What is there to whinge about really? Over here in Morrissey's World our focus is global: the cancellation of third world debt; tackling the blight of starvation in Africa; and strategies for preventing Elton John ever having a number one record again...
Incidentally, don't think for a moment that the band pictured above would fear bumping into those hard rock gurly boys Def Leppard at the Grammy's, or indeed elsewhere. Morrissey's band is the hardest band around - there's Boz with his steel toe caps, Jesse with his street connections, and the Walkers, of course, who must be the hardest married couple in pop now that Sonny and Cher are no more. Def Leppard certainly wouldn't want to bump into us down a dark alley. I beg your pardon?.. Now that's just rude.
I'm pleased at the generally positive response to my recently announced US/Mexican tour. To those feeling dejected at my avoidance of almost all of the United Staes, fear not: the odd date is likely to be added in the not-too-distant future, TV schedule permitting. You will also see me appear with either a white rose or a red rose before Christmas, and at some point a manufactured act will adorn my breast. Another pledge. One can only hope it's not the face of Robert Smith - surely a bridge too far?
To those who noted the 'All Ages!' reference in the Santa Fe poster, and who correctly surmised the reason for the exclamation mark was the recent Aunty Mozzer's advice column - age restrictions at Mozzer's live strip shows - well done. I'm thrilled any of you still bother to scour my symbolism for hidden meaning, particularly after I forced you all to endure 'OK By Myself' on my 2009 tour: a song without any primary meaning, let alone secondary.. I shouldn't have played it. Some things are just wrong. Never again - possibly!
The joys of speaking freely to the intelligentsia are matchless. Thank you for listening.
Morrissey
Last night I went to see Shed Seven at the O2 Academy in Boscombe, Bournemouth. The venue was originally called The Boscombe Grand, and is a very intimate venue that both Bowie and Bolan have played. I must confess, that until last night, I had never heard of the place. I would LOVE to see Morrissey play here. I put the idea to Morfessa on Twitter earlier today, and got the humorous reply, "This would of course depend on their cancellation policy..."....at least, I think it was a humorous reply, it could quite possibly be very serious!
SHED SEVEN AT THE BOSCOMBE GRAND
And finally, on Monday I reported that Morrissey had issued a statement regarding his recent interview with Der Speigel. In the statement Morrissey wrote that he would:
1. Never Kill Donald Trump
2. Never Support Kevin Spacey's private proclivities
3. Never Support abuse of children
4. Never Never support sexual harassment
5. Never support rape
Morrissey also added that Der Speigel didn't convey his views fairly, and that he would never speak to the print media again. He signed off by reporting that he had requested an unchopped, un-fiddled with audio of the interview, which had been refused.
Yesterday, in response to Morrissey's statement, the interviewer, Juliane Liebert released the audio. I haven't personally bothered to listen to it, but funnily enough, it has been confirmed that ALL FIVE of the above points are correct. Yes Morrissey gave a view on each of the five subjects, but he DIDN'T give support; just as he DIDN'T give support with his statement about the UKIP leadership election. Der Speigel could have used a whole number of positive headlines for the interview, but they went with:
""The person who is called a victim is only disappointed""
and then added a sub-heading of:
"Morrissey praises the Brexit referendum, defends Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein and calls Berlin a "rape capital" - because of the open borders. Seriously?"
Der Speigel purposely looked to sensationalise Morrissey's views, in the quest for worldwide publicity.... and it worked, with the mainstream UK and USA media picking-up on the interview, and making sensational headlines of their own. As the headlines got more and more ridiculous, Juliane Liebert took to Twitter - as reported on Day 2368 of FTM - to state that Morrissey HADN'T supported the killing of Trump, and HADN'T supported abuse of children, but her original headlines had already caused the damage. Oh, Juliane!
There really is nothing left to say about the Der Speigel interview. Those Morrissey fans who have decided to believe the sensational headlines, and who now spend all day every day chastising him, should just move away from The Mozziah, and get on with their lives without Morrissey. They will probably feel like it is a bereavement, but they have brought it upon themselves. If only they had opened their eyes. Those of us who can see through the bullshit media, will continue to enjoy listening to Morrissey's music, will enjoy attending his concerts, and will enjoy reading his views on various subjects. The world is FULL of crashing bores.
And now to far more important matters, looking for that 'turquoise' reference, and watching the remainder of The Promise.
*Goes off singing* Oh, he said he'd cure your ills, but he didn't and he never will....and I'm not happy, and I'm not sad.
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